Our Voice

What do I do now?  I crave for you,  oh this yearning stretching to my blood and bones,  my very being screaming,  calling out your name,  an infinite loop.  And you say love me and you say I can't love you still,  then what do I do with this heart of mine already adoring yours?  You're my only one,  what about you beloved?  What more am I left to give that'd buy me your love?  I'm the end of spring,you the beginning of autumn; how do we even love?  Past lovers still living in present,  its an impossible future for us.  What fate has your God written?  We grew all this from the proximity of us,  yet its dying of suffocation the closer we got.  A paradox in its very existence.  What would I not do  if only you asked me to stay and told me that it'd be worth the wait.  But I get nothing after giving my all.  I'm always there for you yet your time seems so expensive.  Talk to me, a...

While I lost myself in a beautiful spring,  you shed tears like trees shedding leaves.  Dark, deadly winter and I was nowhere near you.  Oh,it was so cold at your place,  yet you still kept on waiting for me.  Your fingers shivered yet you still caressed my photos,  your quivering heart called out to me daily,  as if every breathe of yours had my name carved on it.  Yet I took it for granted.  I came so late.  I hate everything,  I hate myself the most.  I let myself lose you, my beloved.  What's the point of my love now when you're no more here to feel it?  I feel so guilty, I'm terribly sorry.  You loved me so much,  now I'm trapped in your memory.  Your warm embrace, I used to be so happy.  What did you leave when you left me? Eternal agony.  Serves me right, that's what I'm deserving,  It's all just coming back to me.  I couldn't see your pain.  Fighting the demons,fighting ...

Felt homesick while at home.  She's nothing but a broken body plus half a soul.  I've been to hell even before she could; killed myself in my heart everytime my head would kill her off.   Now, phobic to you I am, oh death.  Smiling and laughing,  hiding a heart full of eternal melancholy.  Stigma of doing too much or doing nothing,  I'm really the worst, none can compete.  I'd grow thorns in my heart each time roses bloomed in her eyes.  It bleeds and it pains,  I'm still so useless.  I could never suffice.  2:50 at night I stare at your picture until I cry. Now my face's wet, eyes dry.  A world without you,  a nightmare through and through.  Where would I go with no one for me to hold? There's no home at all,sweetheart, if it's you who's no more. Oh my chosen rational number on this number line filled with irrationals,  you're my final destination.  So please don't move on without me,  ...

"I love you" you say, ignorant of how it makes my heart sway.  Your tiny little smile,  the mole beneath your eye,  everything about you is beautiful. Like a gem,you always shine.  And darling,when our hands had intertwined,  your five fingers woven in five of mine.  Even though its been months,  the warmth of your skin still lingered  in my mind. Babe,I fell for you, ever so slowly,  as winter falls in the hands of spring.  Clearly we aren't meant to be,  'fated' never written in our destinies.  Yet every night ,  I dreamt of such fantasies.  Playing a tug of war with myself,  months it took to reach an equilibrium.  However,three words from you,  I'm once again off balance.  Love let me be,  bid me goodbye, fair and square,  for I'm too much of a coward.  There's no one but you that I dare not acquire. 

What if we fell in love?  I'd love you in different languages,  in colours of red and pink,  with the melodies of our favorite music. Our hands enjoining perfectly,  made for each other, we must be.  As we dream of a forever, to always be forbidden lovers. Hidden away from society's disdain, we'd watch our shadows stretch and merge together as we'd move closer & closer,  until our breathes started to mingle. Hiding in our room with the darkness as cover,  I'd lower my head to kiss you,  my dear lover.  We'd pull and push at each other,  our tongues entangling in a war,  our bodies getting hotter with warmth. Our naive,pure first love, with the sweet smell of sunshine and a hopeful future.  Breathless, we'd giggle against each other's lips.  Your eyes filled with unknown, beautiful galaxies. Us. Clearly hidden from the world but laying everything naked, completely bare.  Just for you, only when it's you.  My s...

This envy i never knew of,  of wanting to hold your hand,  to take you with me  and to protect you from every feind.  This feeling of regret for I didn't cherish you enough.  You've always given me so much yet I gave you nothing in return.  This feeling of terror because I have a heart full of fear.  What if you let go?  What if you aren't here anymore?  It hurts like hell.  This thought,  a nightmare in itself.  Oh mom,  please be healthy please come back to us well.