Lost

While I lost myself in a beautiful spring, 

you shed tears like trees shedding leaves. 

Dark, deadly winter and I was nowhere near you. 

Oh,it was so cold at your place, 

yet you still kept on waiting for me. 

Your fingers shivered yet you still caressed my photos, 

your quivering heart called out to me daily, 

as if every breathe of yours had my name carved on it. 

Yet I took it for granted. 

I came so late. 

I hate everything, 

I hate myself the most. 

I let myself lose you, my beloved. 

What's the point of my love now

when you're no more here to feel it? 

I feel so guilty, I'm terribly sorry. 

You loved me so much, 

now I'm trapped in your memory. 

Your warm embrace, I used to be so happy. 

What did you leave when you left me? Eternal agony. 

Serves me right, that's what I'm deserving, 

It's all just coming back to me. 

I couldn't see your pain. 

Fighting the demons,fighting the wolves, 

I blindly believed your bluff of courage and hope. 

It's me it's me, 

I'm your criminal. 

I promised you safety and ran away like a coward. 

I wish to die everyday if it could bring you back, 

however it's still your love that makes me think again

and just like that, 

I come back sitting in the dark with my blues on loose. 

Losing myself again but differently. 

This time,it's me frozen in that winter month, 

withering away slowly just as you did.